Is Marriage Supposed To Be Hard?

I don’t know how many countless articles and blog posts I see with a reoccurring theme: 
“10 Ways To Stay Happy In Your Marriage” or 
“35 Best Ways To Love Your Husband Endlessly”

Although I don’t think these articles are bad, I feel like some of the messages they send aren’t the greatest. To me, when I see these, I see “marriage is, without fail, bad”. I am not naive to think there aren’t bad days in marriage. But with these articles, I feel a message is being sent that “no matter what, you will start falling out of love with your spouse” or “if you don’t do certain steps, your marriage won’t flourish”. To me, that is silly. 

My idea? Choose happy. 
Every day of your life, choose happy. 


I remember when M and I were moving and my mom asked “how many fights did you guys get in along the way?” I was so confused by this because my answer was none. Were we supposed to fight? We were supposed to have a hard time moving? 

What do you always hear about the first year of marriage? It’s the toughest, right?! Why? Because it’s new? Or because that’s the stigma put on the first year of marriage? Wouldn’t it be cool to start hearing “The first year of marriage is the BEST! Enjoy it!”. It’s sad that instead we are constantly reminded how hard the first year is. 

I almost feel as if the articles online implant ideas into women’s heads. “If your marriage isn’t at this point, it needs work.” “If you don’t do these things, you’re not a good wife.” 
Every person is different, along with each marriage is different. I think going into something EXPECTING the worst, you won’t get very far. I know no one goes into their marriage with that mindset, but what are these articles teaching us? Fighting is normal? Staying happy is only done a certain way? You need to be doing XY&Z to show your husband you love him? 

Again, I understand each person is different. But try this; every day wake up happy. Say “I love you” everyday. Consciously make an effort to never let your marriage wither away. But most of all? Don’t expect things to go to shit. Don’t believe statistics. Don’t tell yourself what happened to that marriage will happen to mine. 

I do think some of the articles on the web regarding marriage are great. Date ideas are so fun to read. But ways to save your marriage? I think that just implants ideas in peoples heads that it is unavoidable. Failing marriages are unavoidable. I’m here to tell you they’re not. Do what makes you happy. Nourish your marriage with all you have and put in the effort daily. 

Oh and also? Kiss that amazing spouse of yours EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 😉   
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Our Last First Date

I know a lot of people have heard “our story” before, but today marks one year since my LAST first date, so I found it appropriate to share it with people again. 🙂 

M and I first met on February 9th. After meeting him I truly thought I wouldn’t talk to him again. Not that he wasn’t a great guy, it was just something I saw happening. I mean fairytales only happen in the movies, right? The day after Valentines day, and the day before our first date, M sent me the most gorgeous flowers at work. The card read “To my new best friend”. Little did I know, he truly WAS going to become my best friend! (And if you were wondering, I still have that card. I’m cheesy and sentimental like that.)

flowers, couple, love, dating, marriage, wedding


Our date night rolls around and I remember being SO nervous, but in the same sense I was trying to remain cool. I mean hey, he was an older guy. 😉 I was taking pictures of every outfit I owned, texting my friends asking what I should wear. Literally down to the jewelry. I finally found “THE OUTFIT”. Much to everyones disappointment, it wasn’t even that spectacular.  

ootd, ootn, date night, selfie


M picked me up and we went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants in Flagstaff. Our waitress came by to get our drink order and M order wine. A whole bottle of it. I remember just thinking “WOW! That is FANCY!” Hahaha. 

wine, tavera, cork


This was the kind of date where I was nervous to eat because I didn’t want to miss my mouth or have pepper in my teeth. Ya, I was still nervous at this point. 
Our first date was literally the best date I had ever been on in my life. We talked about everything from friends, to life goals and favorite foods. I remember M telling me he wasn’t just dating to date, he wanted to be settled down within the coming years. Funny thing was that’s exactly where I was at with my life. Usually wanting to settle down drives men away makes them run the total opposite direction, but not with M. That’s when I knew he was different. 
Later that night we were just driving around my town and I asked him to pick a way to drive, left or right. Thank God he picked left. Due to the fact that he chose left, we drove out to a beautiful part of town, sat in the car, and shortly saw a big the largest shooting star i’ve seen in my existence. Seriously y’all, this was something you only see on TV. We saw it first hand! 

We both made sure to wish for something. 

After that first date, M and I didn’t spend a weekend apart from each other. I truly didn’t think things were going to work long distance, but they did. They were better than ever. 


If you would have told me a year ago that I was going to meet this man, move twice, buy a home, and get married, I seriously would have laughed. HARD. I didn’t see my fairytale happening for a few more years. God had different plans though. He had BIG plans for both of us. 

I found out on my wedding day, standing up there with my best friend, we both made the same wish the night we saw that shooting star. We both wished that was going to be our LAST first date. How amazing that it actually WAS our last first date? We are truly, TRULY blessed to have found each other. My life is so much more amazing with him. I wouldn’t trade our life for the WORLD. 

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Sometimes we’re really cute

I think my favorite part about “wedding planning” was taking our ‘Save the Date’ pictures! It truly reminded me how much I just LOVE M. We can be silly, and serious, and just be….in love! I kept looking at him and saying “I have no idea what i’m doing” and we would just laugh. I love that about him. I love that I don’t have to pretend to know what i’m doing, or pretend like i’m good at things. 
I was so excited to finally meet our photographer, who happens to be his cousin. Along with excited, I was a tad nervous. When he told me he “knew someone who took pictures” I was expecting someone who just owned a camera and took pictures for fun. Luckily, our photographer is AMAZING! She gave us direction and made us feel comfortable, which I loved and ultimately needed. This photo shoot reassured me that the photos of our wedding will be BEAUTIFUL! 
I am so in love with these pictures! 

(Remember this whole ‘I don’t know what i’m doing’ thing?!)


Sometimes we’re really cute. Wouldn’t you agree?! 😉

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