This is something I haven’t really talked much about on the blog because I didn’t know if it was “appropriate”. I was afraid someone would be mad that I was sharing this part of our life. However, this summer one of the biggest moments of our life took place and with it being National Adoption Month, I wanted to share our story. Although our adoption story isn’t like the “traditional” stories, it’s OURS and I wanted to share it.
Okay, here it is. No forewarning on this blog post because i’m just going for it.
I’M BLOGGING FULL TIME.
I want to, AND I WILL, start pursuing this blog FULL. TIME.
Most of you are right now are probably saying “okay, so what?” and clicking that little ex to get out of this blog post. Bye Felicia.
But little do you know, blogging takes A LOT of work. Unless you’re a blogger, then you know. You really really know.
Really though, lets talk…
Blogging has been a passion of mine for about three years now. I had a “private” blog for about 6 months before I realized I had something special to share and made this here little blog. It’s MY corner of the internet. And you know what? I’m proud of it. I’m proud of the things i’ve accomplished because of it, i’m proud of the content i’ve created, and i’m proud of the happiness it has brought me. I never knew writing could do this for me. I never imagined writing to be my happy place.
I’m not crafty. I’m not good at hair. I barely know how to do makeup. The list goes on and on. Half the time I don’t even think I’m a good mom or wife. But you know what I do know how to do? Articulate a sentence. And I know how to write. And I absolutely love it. I love that when I am writing, words just flow out of me. (Which makes me sound like I have some sort of sickness, but I promise I don’t.)
I feel like this is the most anti-climactic blog post in the history of posts. But nonetheless, I needed to post it. Not for anyone other than myself, and that’s okay.
So be on the lookout!
More posts! Fun posts! Stupid posts! Life posts! WHATEVER!
I am making this blog MINE again and I couldn’t be more excited!!
Make sure you’re following along our journey on Facebook and Instagram as well!
Here’s to the new adventure of FULL TIME BLOGGING!
LET’S DO THIS!!!!!!
I’ve heard it said before that great blogging is about creating an emotional connection with your readers and THAT is what you strive for. Every blog post I do, I think about who it might affect and the people I might touch with it. Over the past few months I haven’t blogged often, but I have shared about topics near and dear to my heart. Dealing with infertility, being on clomid, and not much in-between. Lets just say it: I’ve been slacking on the blog-front. Who is surprised? (No one raises their hands. I get it.)
I’ve been nervous. The last few blog posts of mine have created a lot of buzz. They’ve resulted in a lot of messages, texts, emails from people I don’t know, and so much more. I love that feeling. I love knowing I am creating content people can relate to. I love knowing I am being influential with my story. I love knowing people can relate to me on a “not so traditional” forefront. With that also comes a standard I have now set for myself. My blog has always been a huge success for me. AND I AM PROUD OF MY BLOG. I am proud of what i’ve created. But is it enough?
I’m nervous that now that i’ve created, what I think is amazing content, people are expecting that type of content with each post, picture, status, etc. It takes time for me, though. It takes time for me to muster up the courage to post such heart-wrenching blog posts. I love doing it more than anything, but it honestly takes me days to even post because I analyze and dictate every word and sentence. Am I being too honest? Am I being too mean? Am I being too open? Am I sharing too much? It ALL crosses my mind.
What if what i’m posting now isn’t good enough? What if my every day, working an 8-5, can’t keep our house clean type blog posts aren’t good enough? People don’t want to read about how i’m tired everyday or about how our house still looks like we moved in last week despite being here for almost two years. (WAIT WHAT?!?!) No one wants that. I think that’s why I go through spurts of not blogging. I get nervous.
I have standards for myself and for my blog and being mediocre isn’t in those standards. Right now, i’m in the process of trying to “rebrand”. If you’re a blogger, you know what that entails. If you’re not a blogger, just bare with me. I promise it will be worth it. I PINK PROMISE that it will be worth it.
I love my blog. I love my readers. I love my life and everything I share with y’all. I hope that I haven’t disappointed any of my loyal readers and you understand where I am coming from for the time being. I know I say it a lot, but I love and appreciate EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. YOU. These next few months are going to be exciting.
Will you continue along in our journey?
The life of a blogger is a weird one. You put so much of your life on the internet and hope that people don’t rip apart your every move. In an effort to keep your blog going good, most people post lots of fun, uplifting, heart-happy posts. I love doing that myself, but I also like being real. I like posting about what truly is happening in my life. I feel like in doing that, the people who read my blog have a more personal connection with me and I absolutely LOVE that.
I have a lot of things I don’t blog about. In an odd sense though, I wish I did blog about them. Blogging is my therapy. I also have a lot of “unpopular opinions” about things. This post is dedicated to all those things. Sit tight, buckle up, and prepare yourself for a side of me you’ve never seen….
>>>I thought that at some point after moving to the middle of nowhere USA I would regret it. I can wholeheartedly say I have yet to regret it. Not even once.
>>>I’m 95% sure I suffer from depression.
>>>”If i’m not between a 3 and a 7 on the emotion scale, i’m crying.” If you know what that reference is from, we can be friends. Also, it is 100% true that if I’m not somewhere in that range, i’m crying. Too happy…crying. Too sad…crying. It’s a fun trait to have. My husband especially loves it. (Poor guy)
>>>I actually don’t agree with women whipping their boobies out and breastfeeding with no coverup. I understand they are feeding their child, but why not cover up?!? (I know i’ll get a lot of hate for this one. Sue me.)
>>>I have chronic fatigue and it is the thing I am the most insecure about (besides my complexion). Everyone that knows me knows that I take naps more than my child and most of the time I’m in bed by 8 pm. I hate that about myself. Sometimes I literally CANNOT physically keep my eyes open. People mock me about it all the time and I know it’s all in good fun, but it is something I am truly embarrassed about and absolutely hate.
>>>The smell of ketchup after it’s been sitting on a plate is literally the most disgusting smell in the entire universe. Like to the point where it makes me gag.
>>>I think about death every. single. day. And not in a “I hate life and I think about dying” kind of way. Just every day I wonder if this is the day i’m going to get into a fatal car crash or if someone is going to invade my home and shoot me.
>>>I think a “stay at home wife” is the biggest joke. What do you do all day when you don’t have kids?!
Well folks, there it is. A few things I thought I would never post on my blog. Feel free to judge me, or feel free to comment below and let me know if you relate to any of these things! I truly appreciate every single one of you who took the time to read this post. It wasn’t an easy one for me to post, but i’m happy I did.
Well, month one of clomid has came and went. It was one of the worst months i’ve had yet.
The whole time i’m telling myself “this is all worth it and in the end I will be so extremely grateful”….i’m really questioning myself at this point, only because half of the month I wanted to murder someone/something/have 500 “adult beverages”.
First month on clomid in a nutshell:
-I have literally cramped every. single. day since I started my first pill. Is that normal? Probably not, but neither is 95% of my reproductive system, so there’s that. And I don’t just mean like “oh wahhh, I have a little cramp” it’s the “*insert curse words*, grunt, cry, is this gonna kill me?!” type of cramps. Did I mention it’s every single day?
-I have had the worst headaches of my entire life. Again, headaches so bad i’m convinced they are going to kill me. The headaches where I have to stop mid sentence from speaking because I’m literally about to cry and can’t concentrate on another single thing because my head feels like it’s going to explode.
-The bloating is real. I thought I bloated bad before. I thought I retained water bad before. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh Kaylin, you’re so silly. Because on Clomid, you literally look like a beached whale no matter how many times your husband tells you you don’t. (Refer to my Facebook status yesterday of changing my outfit three different times. The struggle is real.)
-The emotions. Again, I thought I was emotional before? This month brought a whole new LEVEL of emotions. Im 1390921% convinced now I truly need a therapist. Anyone want to recommend one?!
And the worst part about all of this? I get to do it all again next month! WHO IS EXCITED?!?!?! (I can tell you my husband is NOT raising his hand right now!)
Clomid, you are a dirty little skank. Do your job and get the H out of my life.
Who else has been on Clomid? Did you have side effects? Any of these maybe?? I’d love some insight/advice/encouragement/funny stories….anything at this point, really.
I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this. I’m just venting at this point, as are all my blog posts. If you made it this far, you deserve a gold medal. I love you.